List Wednesday (on Tuesday) is here! I’ve never backed off from saying that I’m pretty excited for this weekend’s “Fast And Furious,” the eight-years-later sequel to 2001’s The Fast And The Furious that finally reunites the original cast. The main three players in the film, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Michelle Rodriguez, were probably thrilled when their agents called them and offered these roles, because their careers haven’t exactly been on fire lately. In fact, they’ve made some downright bad movies in the last few years. Read my list of the casts’ Top 5 Most Awesomely Bad Films, and then let me know what additions or subtractions you might make in the comments:
5. Running Scared
I actually kind of like this Paul Walker movie, even if it is so frenetic it made my head hurt. The energy is turned up to an all time max, and it’s confusing to know what’s going on, and the film certainly isn’t good, but whatever, the implausible plot and action are rather entertaining.
4. The Pacifier
The gimmick of this comedy was supposed to be that Vin Diesel was this huge action star that had been made into a nanny. Think Kindergarten Cop. It would have worked better had Diesel had more action films than just XXX and The Fast And The Furious on his resume. It also would have worked better had it been funny. I still remember the Peter Panda Dance, though…
3. Chronicles of Riddick
I think I saw part of this on USA one night, probably in between airings of Legally Blonde and The Replacements. Riddick was so dark, bizarre, and confusing, that it really wasn’t any fun to watch, and the dialogue was laughably cheesy. This sci-fi does get style points, though.
2. Into The Blue
Paul Walker and Jessica Alba as treasure hunters wearing kiddie snorkel gear. This wouldn’t have made it to $20 million at the box office without Jessica Alba in a bikini. Thank goodness for the horndogs of the world!
Michelle Rodriguez, what went wrong in 2005? You get a DUI, you get killed off of Lost the same season you’re introduced because everyone hates your character, and then you star in this dreck by Uwe Boll! Why do people let this man make movies?