Archive for the ‘Legally Blonde’ Category

10 Movies That Are Always On TV

October 21, 2009

We’re right here at the middle of the week.  Some call today hump day, but TBOJ calls it List Wednesday!  This week, I’m counting down the 10 movies that I see playing on TV more than any others.  This is not really a countdown of quality, but one of frequency, because I think we all know that USA, TBS, TNT, and apparently now the Weather Channel, all play the same movies over and over again each weekend.  You know, there’s something kind of nice about watching a movie on TV.  It’s comforting, predictable, and somehow, even though you may already own the DVD, you feel a certain desire to watch the TV version.  It’s like hearing a great song on the radio: the fact that you didn’t choose it makes it even better! Anyway, here are the 10 films that I feel like are always on TV:

10. National Lampoon’s Vacation

This one always came on when I was younger, but it plays less frequently these days, which is a shame.  I swear, I’ve seen Grandma die and get strapped to the roof of the station wagon at least a dozen times, and it’s never any less funny!  Today’s kids have Wall-E, but they don’t have Wallyworld!

9. Twins

A classic Ahnuld and Danny Devito movie, in which the two play twin brothers.  Implausible? Yes.  Awesome? Of course!  I will always find it hilarious that Arnold is not only physically perfect, but he’s also the good guy, whereas Devito has to be short, fat, and evil! 

8. Not Another Teen Movie

The extent to which people enjoy this movie is based on their generation.  About eight or nine years ago, She’s All That, The Breakfast Club, and Can’t Hardly Wait were the movies that were always on TV, and this movie mocks them (and every other teen movie of the last 20 years) boldly, so if you know what NATM is referencing, it’s brilliant.  This is probably my biggest guilty pleasure flick.

7. Grease

You see the Greasers on the bleachers and the Pink Ladies at the lunch table, and you’re sucked in.  Say goodbye to your next two hours and just enjoy it.

6. Coming To America

Eddie Murphy is an African prince.  He moves to New York and looks for a wife.  That’s really all I know because I’ve never watched this movie.  I don’t know why, but for some reason I just feel like I wouldn’t like it.  I know to put it on this list because I see it on TV all the time, and then I change the channel.

5. Never Been Kissed

This Drew Barrymore back-to-high-school comedy is totally roofus.  Everyone can relate to feeling awkward in high school, and Josie-Grosie is just so unbelievably endearing.  Plus, I’m a sucker for Barrymore’s speech at the prom after the dog food incident.

4. Jumanji

I’m pretty sure everyone has seen this movie.  If you haven’t, then allow me to compare you to the fat rhino who just can’t keep up with the rest of the pack.  You’ve got Robin Williams at his best and most adventurous, Bonnie Hunt being awesomely paranoid, and Kirsten Dunst holding her own.  Add a cool plot and some amazing special effects, and you’ve got a blockbuster.  Unfortunately, Jumanji didn’t do all that well in theaters ($100.5 million), so I’m glad its gotten way more exposure on TV over the years.

3. Bring It On

Here’s a teen movie that isn’t completely stupid!  In fact, it’s got wit, attitude, a ton of beautiful girls, and a fun story tell.  Here again, in Dunst, is an endearing character.  Who isn’t rooting for a spunky, hard-working cheerleader who gets cheated on by her boyfriend, betrayed by her former captain, cry/dances in her room alone, and still tries to make things right and win Nationals?  This is a theme I’m noticing: endearing blonde women somehow make movies delightfully rewatchable… see #7, #5, #4, #3, and #1.

2. The Replacements

Boy is this a dumb movie, but really, no one wants to watch a serious movie on TV.  Between the constant commercials and the inevitable people that will interrupt you throughout, a ridiculous football comedy starring Keanu Reeves works just fine.

1. Legally Blonde
How many weekends in the last five years has TBS played this Reese Witherspoon legal comedy on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday?  It seems like its on a couple times a month!  But I’m not complaining, because Legally Blonde is just a funny movie.  The pretentious Harvard students, the admissions video, and the ridiculous perm-filled lawsuit are, like, so, totally, fabulous!

Now, I want to hear what you all think! Have I left off any movies that you feel are always showing up on the tube? Do you relate to these choices? Let me know in the comments!


Since When Do Articles Determine Sequels?

June 23, 2009

Remember that movie, the one where a group of kids are about do something, but one of them has this weird vision of a horrific crash, and pleas to the rest of them to leave, because they’re all going to die, and they think it’s all crazy until the accident does happen, and then they’re like, “whoa, you saw it before it happened,” but then they all start to die in really bizarre, completely implausible ways, because they never were supposed to survive that initial catastrophe?

Is it:
A. Final Destination
B. Final Destination 2
C. Final Destination 3
D. Legally Blonde

If you answered, A, B, or C, congratulations! You’ve identified a film series that is literally identical in it’s structure and plot, and solely exists to show horrific ways to die. Now, sequels are often retreads of the originals, but they usually have some semblance of a new plot or a new situation. These are carbon copy, cut from the same cloth movies (that suck ass, by the way) and managed to bring in enough cash to generate a fourth movie. The plot? I already wrote it, it’s up at the top. The ‘horrific accident’ this time takes place at a flipping Nascar race (apparently the creators thought they weren’t hitting the redneck demographic strongly enough), where a group of teens who are way too good looking to be watching Nascar barely escape a car crash that, evidently, levels the entire stadium. Death starts picking them off one by one, yada yada yada, the end. Here’s the trailer:

Wait, wait, wait. Did you catch that title? The Final Destination? That’s all it takes to designate a sequel now? An article? Evidently the first two follow-ups weren’t good enough to get such a definite article in the word ‘the.’ It must have borrowed the ‘the’ from Fast and Furious (A series which already has the shittiest sequel titles known to man), which dropped its article to show everybody it was a brand new movie. God, let’s hope this isn’t the start of a titling trend. Iron Man 2 gets renamed The Iron Man. I’ll stick with my numbers, thanks. Call me old fashioned.

And did you notice the part of the trailer that said, “Death…Saved the best…” when I first saw this, and realized what it was, I mumbled under my breath “please be ‘for last,'” over and over again. Nope. “Death…Saved the best…For 3D.”

Oh shit. I was hoping this series could go the way all it’s character’s do, but they’ve completely left it open for a sequel, which they’ll make. And 3D? Alright, that’s the one thing this movie has going for it. Maybe. But I’m still pissed they teased the possibility of me never having to watch one of those movies again just to reveal they’ll be making the blood and body parts fly OUT OF THE SCREEN this time.

Awesome. Can’t wait. I still maintain that, gramatically, this should be the last movie. Since it’s ‘TheFinal Destination, it means there can’t be another.



5 Movies That Prove That Ali Larter Is The Hardest Working Woman In Hollywood

April 22, 2009

A lot of people don’t know who Ali Larter is. Most people just know her as that really hot girl they’ve seen in a bunch of movies, even though they don’t know her name. Truth of the matter is, I’ve been of fan of Ali’s for quite some time, and I’ve always appreciated the way that she has never acted too good for any role. In fact, Ms. Larter has historically been willing to star in just about every role she’s been offered in order to climb the ladder of success. Now, I’m not implying that the vixen is co-starring with Jenna Jameson in the next great porno, but judging by the ads for this weekend’s Obsessed, which feature Ali and Beyonce rolling around on the floor in a catfight, the hardworking Larter has once again proved to me that she is an unpretentious actress who’s realistic about her best selling points (read: her looks). Forget artistry! There’s something relatable and attractive to me about actors who just treat their jobs as their jobs, and not as platforms for political and personal artistic expression *gag*. Thus, since it’s List Wednesday, let’s take a look at five Ali Larter productions that prove she’s been paying her dues for a good, long while.

5. Heroes
Thought this is certainly the most consistent gig she’s ever had, and I’m sure she’s happy to have the consistent work, the fact that Ali Larter has had to stick with the atrocity that the television show, Heroes, has become is rather remarkable. Gosh, I don’t know if you watch it, but it is just a trainwreck!

4. Final Destination (2)
An ultimate guilty pleasure of mine… I straight up love these movies because they don’t pretend to be anything more than what they are, which are simply excuses for watching people get caught in hilariously cool death traps. In a way, the Final Destination franchise is a lot like Ms. Larter, who starred in the first two films; both the films and the actress are unpretentious, fun to watch, and they get the job done.

3. Straight-to-DVD titles like Homo Erectus and Three Way
I think the titles speak for themselves. The even better part about her roles in these films is that debuted in 2004 and 2007, well after she’d had some success on the big screen. Most actresses would be a bit too big for their britches to go back to the home market, but not Ali!

2. Drive Me Crazy
Larter played the goth girl in this 1999 Melissa Joan Hart (remember her?) comedy, and she was still a babe. Ten years later, and I remember her character, Darcy (see? I really do remember!), way better than whoever hart played!

1. Varsity Blues
Like I said, Ali Larter knows the main reason she has a career, and it’s not because of her acting. In 1999, she starred in the football flick, Varsity Blues, and donned the famous whipped cream bikini that so many adolescent boys have emblazened into their mind.

There you go! I hope this list has cleared up any ambiguity about who Ali Larter is, and perhaps now you’ll think of her as more than just the hot convict from Legally Blonde. Anyway, Im interested to hear: Did you know who Ali Larter was? I asked a bunch of my friends today, and no one (even Reed) could put a face with a name until I explained it to them!